This Piece Wasn't Written From The Perspective Of A Critic.
I've always Believed 'True Love' Didn't Exist, at least not at This Adolescent Stage of my life, This saying of mine has brought about Tons of Questions and Raised Eyebrows From ex's,Relatives and almost everyone I've come in contact with in The 18yrs I've lived for. These Raised Eyebrows Brought about the Inevitable. Ranging From Breakups To Development of Trust Issues. After days and Weeks And Years of hearing People Go On and On.. About True Love and I Just Couldn't take it Anymore Like "What Do you Know That you think You're in Love?" lol Maybe I'm Just Bitter or We just have No idea what 'True Love' Really Is. "Love does not exist At This Adolescent Stage” i explained. Commitment exists, and loyalty exists. Trust, Lust, patience, desire, compassion all these things exist. They’re all specific and measurable, and they all contribute to emotional health of any relationship between two people. But when you bundle them up and wrap a blanket called ‘love’ around them, they lose a certain amount of their value as qualities in their own right. It’s sad that the word ‘love’ is used to undermine the complex emotions that should exist between any Two People. it is deep, but comprehendable. People often forget or neglect some of these important feelings because they can simply say the words ‘I love you’ and evade any demand for proof of the sentiments that are perhaps lacking and consequently damaging to the relationship.
I honestly believe True Love Surpasses our Imaginations at This Present Stage of our life so all we're Doing or Feeling for The Opposite Sex Is Just a Great level of Attachment, that is mostly mistaken for "love". You can be attached to another human being, a toy, a car, etc. As long as your brain is fused to that thing with happiest moments, it releases hormones, making your heart beat faster when you sight that object or person. Those things came into our lives, and can easily and happily leave, without breaking a sweat.
Love is way deeper than we use it in our context.
We often Picture What we Expect And Want our Soul Mates To be like some of us Even Make Checklists. For Example a Girl's Checklist May include; face of Zayn Malik, Body of Cr7,voice of The Weeknd. Height of Kobe. etc. Technically Our Imaginations project Nonexistent perfection upon another person. One day, Our fantasy Is Met We're Suddenly in 'Love' No matter How Wild Your Checklists may seem the Moment we find That One Person that Meets up All our Expectations And luckily We Meet up With Theirs' We Go Head over Heels For that Person Because its like a Dream Come True. There's Nothing wrong in having a checklist or Expectations for our future partners There's just one Problem We often Neglect our Partners Flaws cos' there's no Perfect Person. If we don't leave space for our Partner's Flaws in our Checklists, The relationship Would Go on For a While but then The Flaws Set in And The only Thin thread holding the Relationship is The Fulfilment of our Checklist Then The inevitable Break up Occurs. Well I was fortunate enough To have This Conversation With My Aunt Who Had Been Married For about 36 years or so, Till her Husband Passed Away Last year . From our Conversation I Quote " I don't Think these Lovers Of this Age & Time can Go the Long Run For Each other & Stand the test of time " I Inquired that She Shed some more light on the statement And She Did. This is what I gathered from them "True Love entails Making a whole lot of Sacrifices for our Partners ; Taking responsibility For Our Partners Decisions, Obviously Taking responsibility Isn't a Strong Point At this Stage of our Lives. So We Haven't Made Any Serious Sacrifices For Our Partners yet. Her Marriage Bloomed & For 36 yrs She was Happy But For Every Good Thing There Must Have Been Tough times & They Have also Had their Share of the Tough Times As She Told Me Her own Story: " Pekun Was 25 And I was 21. I was a Sophomore Studying Pharmacy At a University In England Where I Met Pekun A Tall light Skinned fellow With A funny Afro. (He Had Grey Hair) It was 'Love' At First Sight. Pekun's Parents lived in Nigeria So He Had a Flat of His own in Cardiff Or so While I Lived at Sheffield With My Aunt & Uncle. I Snuck out of the Hostel To See Pekun & at Times From Home During the holidays For the Same Cause .It was All So Rosy For Us Till I Got Pregnant For Him And The News Got To My Parents Back in Nigeria Faster Than Lightening I was immediately Given Two Options 1) To Abort it & Continue with My Education Or To Keep It And They'd Stop Paying My Tuition. I Told Pekun & His Response Till Today Amazes Me Still , He Laughed and Said To Me "Foluke You'll Deliver this our Baby, We'd Be Just Fine. " After Such A heart warming response, I didn't See Pekun for About 2Months & Since I had Refuted The idea of an Abortion My Parents Opted out of My Education and My Life in General. I was Stuck, with Nowhere to go, I was To Due in 3Months When Pekun Came back with The Receipt from the Hospital, He had paid For My Delivery & Post Natal Care, immediately I Inquired Where he Got the Money From, Because I Thought I could smell Foul Play But instead He Had Deferred His Admission, & Used His fees To Pay For The Hospital Dues. I Wept Because I Had Never Felt Love This,even My Family & Friends Deserted Me But Pekun Still Stayed. A year After Pekun Junior's Delivery, I Went back To School And Finished with School While Pekun Worked at a Store Till I Graduated, He also Bagged His Degree Then After We Got Married and God also blessed Us with 3kids." I didn't Share This experience For the "Aww That's So Cute" Remarks, I want you After reading This To Think Deeply About What You're Into. If you're The Guy in the Relationship Ask yourself Am I Willing & Ready To Quit School For Your Current 'Boo' Be Honest with Yourself, Wouldn't You Rather Suggest An Abortion? With Promising Lives Ahead of Both of You, that Seems like the only Option Doesn't It? Be Honest If You're the Female reading this, Are You Ready To Take the Gross Humiliation,Judgment and Ridicule That Comes With Teen Pregnancy? Are You Willing To Part Ways With Your Parents And Probably Your Inheritances Too Wouldn't You Just Get Rid of This bundle of Ill Luck? If we Search Ourselves carefully We'd likely Take The Easier Way Out. It Seems like the Only Logical Reason Right? If You Said No you wouldn't Opt for An Abortion And You're Actually Prepared Then I'm really Happy For You Because You May Have Found True Love but If You said Yes Then I say No you've Not Found True Love, And that's a Great Thing because you still have your Life to Live to the Fullest Rather than Deluding yourself On something you don't even understand fully. Regardless of Your answer To This Question. Hence my Earlier Statement "True Love Surpasses our. Imaginations at This Present Stage of our life" This Probably Is The End Of the Infatuation Stage But Most Times Before one Realises this, The Damage Would Have Been Done.
I know a Number of People reading this Believe All I've Written here is Utter Nonsense And You Might just be Right But Hey! I'm not Judging Anyone's relationship Or 'Love' Life in This Flimsy Piece of Mine. I just Hope I've been Able To get You to view Love From Another Perspective.
Just because I'm unlucky to feel loved, doesn't mean other people aren't loved or they Aren't in love Or Maybe Love doesn't exist. But I just Think we should Take some Time To re-evaluate our Lives And Really know What we're Doing Cos I've also been Through This Infatuation Phase And It Wasn't a Pleasant Journey Back into The Harsh Reality But I think I Made it back Wiser Cheers.
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