You know, i don't get it. I don't understand myself yet. I think i do, but then yet again, i think i don't. I've made so many mistakes in my life, you'd have thought i've learnt. And sometimes i really think i have, but times like this i don't think i actually have, i always see the good in people. I always try/want to believe this person is actually who they seem to be. But no, something happens, and it slaps me in the face (and really hard) and i realise i've been a complete idiot. You know sometimes i think being an idealist is a curse. I fall too hard too fast for people believing it would turn out like it does in the movies, like a fairytale. That i'd walk away from an argument and then he'd come chasing after me. How stupid does that sound? Does it actually sound stupid? Does it? Why cant it honestly be like that? Movies are movies, and actors are just simply actors, yes. But can you really blame me for wanting all that? Maybe i've been fed a lot of bullshit about life. Maybe i need to start being realistic. I'm just so upset. I should listen to my friends more when they tell me to slow down. For once, i want someone to actually turn out to be the person they seemed to be at the very start. I live in a fairytale. I dream too much. I'm a dreamer. If only you could see how my mind works. But then again, that makes it partially my fault doesn't it? Do i expect too much? I mean, fairytlaes are about happy endings, yes? When at the end the prince comes riding a (lets say white, because a white horse just sounds so graceful) white horse, and comes to meet the girl. And then everything just turns out so beautiful. ERR wrong. Except that isn't how real life works lol. So is it my fault that since i walked away from the argument i expected him to run after me? (Oh God, i'm so corny. Forgive me) so, is that me expecting too much? Yeah? Well, except no. I only expect too much, because i give so much.
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| picture: wikiHow |
And begin again is the song i listen to when i'm upset Lol. Also one of my favourite Taylor swift songs.
what's happened has happened, and still no change. But at least i feel better.
xo
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